It has been a while!

So...I am not very good at this blogging hobby and don't even know if anyone will read this, but I have found some time tonight (surprisingly!) to reflect and write. I also have recently been enjoying reading a lot of others' blogs and having a glimpse of their daily life and observations. However, I have often found myself thinking, "Wow, they are so much better at life than I am." Or, "I wish that I were artistic, thoughtful and good at blogging." And most of all, I think "How can others sound positive all the time even when they are blogging about a bad day? I cannot seem to do that well." But then I realized how much I may have (or not have) to offer the world of blog readers out there. If anything, this may help me keep up on life and keep track of the positive events that I experience each day and use this as a way to look back on my growth.

First, an update! I have now finished one year of grad school and one year of being a Residence Director here at North Carolina State University (NCSU). And let me tell you, it has been quite the journey! I have learned a lot, grown a lot, made a lot of mistakes and am looking forward to another year like it (but feeling much more prepared). Sam and I lived apart this summer during the week as he had an internship in Virginia for the summer. That was hard and a blessing (but really it was hard) and we hope we never have to do it again. Best of all, we have an AMAZING church here in Raleigh. Our biggest fear for moving was finding a body of believers to live in community with and God provided that for us on our first visit to a church. And I can tell you, that this body of Christ has uplifted me this past year and a large reason that Sam and I are so happy here in Raleigh. Praise be to God!

This does not mean that life is grand all the time because we all know that it is not. In fact, my job causes a lot of frustration and stress in my life. I cannot explain my job to anyone on the "outside" (those that I do not work or study with) well enough for you to understand. Maybe this blog will help in the upcoming year, but if not, I guess that is okay. I think one of the biggest frustrations in my job is the long hours that I do not receive recognition or credit for. Yes, we all have long hours at work and I understand that. But it is much easier for someone in the medical field to explain why they worked long hours (especially my dad or father-in-law doing emergency and on-call work). Or someone who works with money; those numbers need to be crunched and perfect, so that takes a long time. However, how do I explain that the emails I sent helped my student staff connect well and build relationships with their residents? How do I explain that upholding community standards when a fire alarm goes off in my building at 1am is working long hours? How do I express that my work with a student in crisis (even small) is important to the world?

I feel as if my work is not understood and that I cannot explain it well enough myself to be understood. And this frustrates me because I don't have a lot of encouragement to keep me going. In fact, what I usually need most during these hard times with long, unpredictable hours is to be in the "real world". I need to be able to grab coffee, read a book for pleasure, connect with a friend. However, I struggle because my world is rarely understood by others. But, I am looking forward to this year ahead because I have learned to be better at unpredictable and live life amongst the craziness.

I found myself during RA training this year not as stressed because something didn't go according to plan, but already thinking of a new plan. I was shocked at how much I was able to create relationships with my student staff better from the start because I knew what needed to happen rather than fretting that I forgot something. I find this as a positive signal that my year will be better than last and a lot of the busy work will be naturally cut out having a year of experience already. This next year will bring many challenges, but I hope that I can carry my positive attitude through this. I know that this post is long and if you are still reading, thank you! I hope that you can help me through this year by reading my updates (which I hope will be shorter in the future), leaving comments for me, and praying for me. I want to be able to take a more positive perspective in whatever may come my way and also remember to rely on those around me.

Here's to a new attitude, approach and blog for the next year!